Last week I began to talk about how autism can affect the rest of the family. I am going to continue to refer to the article I began talking about last week that hit on how autism can change family dynamics. I wanted to talk today about how finding out a member of the family has autism can affect  the other children in the family. The article was really interesting because it said that children who have siblings with autism are better adjusted to the world. They can cope with things in their adult life because they have had to mature and adjust to a life that is not all about them. It is important as a parent to remember to spend individual time with the other children. Often times with the chaos of therapy and doctor appointments and things like that can get parents so busy that they forget the other kids have needs too. It is important to make time, especially individual time, with each of your children. They need to know that you are interested in them and that you know that they are special too.

As I started to think about the parents desire to give the child the best possible life, I began to wonder how giving the child with autism "the best possible life" might effect the rest of the family. Not only is this going to have a huge impact on the parents and their relationship, finding out your son or daughter has autism is going to largely affect any other children a parent might have. I wanted to find some more information on what a family should expect and how they can better cope and grow together rather than apart.

I found a great article by Kathleen Doheny where she talks about a comparison that Kathleen Patrick once made about finding out your child is disabled. She has a son with pervasive developmental disorder. She said she read an article that really struck home with her called "Welcome to Holland" written by Emily Perl Kingsley, a mother of a disabled child. In the article the woman compares her experience of finding out a child has a disability with planning a trip to Italy and then you find out your going to Holland instead. She says "It's not horrible, just different." She even goes on to say " if you spend your life mourning the lost trip to Italy you will never enjoy the special qualities of Holland. After you're there a bit, she says, you notice the charm --tulips, windmills, Rembrandts." http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/features/autism-and-family-relationships

I found that this idea of the condition not being this horrible thing that happened to you and your family, but instead it just being something different than you expected, really relate-able to most things in life. Almost everyday in life something happens to us that is different from what we expected it to be and we accept it and most of the time embrace it and move on. I would think that this idea would help keep the life changing news of having a child with autism more manageable.

I started my process of looking into what parents might find when looking up information about autism and have found a lot of similar things. Most people talk about the severity and levels of autism. I found a good site that gave me the 5 most common types of autism and how it would affect what a parent might be expect.
5 main autism types
These five types and really any type of autism that a child might have would severely affect what a parent will feel when they find out their child might have one of them. I expect that a parent would want to dive deeper into what kind their son or daughter has and what it means in terms of care. For those children who have a high functioning type of autism this might mean some therapy with a specialist and some information on how to get the child to have more success socially. In more extreme cases however the parent would need to begin to think about the care for their child with special full time help and even adult care as they grow older. The main thing I would think that a parent would need to know is the symptoms of their child's autism and the care needed to give their son or daughter the best possible life.

Beginning My Process of Inquiry

As I have been starting my inquiry about autism I have been thinking about a lot of things. I have a few people in my own life that either have autism or have children that have autism. They all seem to have a great grasp and understanding of it now but it made me think about the moment that parents find out. I began to wonder what parents do when they find out their child has autism and how they can educate themselves on what this means for their child and their future parenting.

It sounds silly but I know when I have a question about something I Google it so when I started thinking about the moments after a parent finds out their child has autism, I thought what would I do? So I Googled "child with autism" and a few good websites that talk about what autism is and its symptoms.

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/autism/detail_autism.htm

I know fairly well what autism is and the different characteristics so I was more interested in finding out what a parent would expect in the way of the child's schooling, social life and overall quality of life. I found an interesting blog from the point of someone involved and connected in all of those aspects. The blog type article was a no nonsense view of a wide variety of things that a parent might go through. I really like this persons view because he starts with the negative things a parent might run into and the things that might worry a parent but then he kind of shows the light and gives an insight to how "coming out of the autism closet" and embracing autism is the best thing for the child and the parent. http://www.iol.co.za/lifestyle/family/parenting/thick-skin-needed-to-come-out-of-autism-closet-1.1272744